Summer so far ...

It's only week two for us but so far it hasn't been too painful. Packing up to head out to a friend's cottage this afternoon, I finally get to be someone else's guest for a few days! Then next week we are taking Numbers 2 & 3 on a boat delivery to CT with a stop at an amusement park. No. 1 is hard at work in summer school and seems to be liking the work at your own pace environment. They are given a unit per week to work on, ask any questions and then they are tested on Friday. He will start his English course at the end of August, reading Lord of the Flies and A Midsummer's Night Dream, both of which I actually have my original copy of, marginalia and all!

Here are a few of the the very few photos I have taken (all on my iPhone) mostly because my children run screaming every time I try to take a picture and also because I haven't bothered to drag my SLR camera along with me anywhere. But I am taking it with me on this trip and I will again next week, in hopes that there isn't a gaping hole in the photographic evidence of my children's pre-teen and teenage years which they will be sure to reprimand me later for.

Last Day of School Cookout at the Beach

A flower box makes the peeling paint of the boathouse look charming, don't you think?

Hard at work on a new bridge to our cabin

Mountain bike riding 

The Outsiders circa Grade 5

No. 3 Son with his ski racing idol who graciously allowed him to hold the Crystal Globe. 

The trophy for being the best ski racer on the planet!

How are things with you?

Only three weeks til school is out. I know that for many school is already over but up here we push it til the end of June and still it's too soon for me. And I am feeling exactly how Jen feels in her blog post "Worst End of School Year Mom Ever." Right now I have two on the bench and we're not sure what is going to be happening with either of them this summer. Number Two Son hurt a growth plate in his ankle jumping up to head the ball in soccer last week. A very common injury and we see an Orthopaedic specialist tomorrow and, fingers crossed, she will say that it just needs a few weeks to heal. He's on crutches and missing out on both soccer and rugby. The former he just started playing and was the sport in which, I thought, he was more likely to get hurt. So he's hanging around, spending too much time on various screens. He is supposed to start a Mother's Helper job looking after three little boys a couple of days a week when school gets out and has a trip out west with my Dad planned. Not sure how either of those things are going to work if he can't walk.

Number Three Son is still waiting to find out what is happening with his torn ACL. We finally got the appointment with the doctor who everyone says we need to see at the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto next Monday. There are various scenarios, none of which make me feel any better.

1. He has to have surgery and it happens soon which is good because we want to give him as much time to recover before ski season but it's bad because then he won't be going to camp in August and will spend the whole summer on crutches or with a brace on his leg while it heals.
2. He can't have surgery because he is so young and they don't want to risk injuring the growth plates on the bones that they have to screw into to repair the ACL. Some people never have it repaired but those people don't live to ski race, run and play soccer. If we have to wait, which I'm hoping won't be the case, he will have to wear a brace for activities and probably won't be able to  do anything at the level he would like.
3. They decide to wait to do the surgery because either we can't get him in or he won't have enough time to recover before ski season which means he still will have to wear a brace and won't be able to compete full out which is the only way he knows how to ski.

None of the above are great scenarios but I guess we're lucky to have options, a great hospital relatively close by and don't have to worry about having to pay for it. Now if I can just figure out how to pay for No. 2's braces which go on in a month.

Number One Son is counting down the days til he gets out of grade 9 and can move on from a very disappointing first year of high school. He will have five days off after exams before his summer classes start. He will be in class 8:30am to 1:30pm and then spend the afternoon doing dry land training in preparation for ski season which will start for him at the end of August in Switzerland. He is going to a ski academy nearby and they train for six weeks over there then come home to work on school before they begin skiing again next winter. He is very excited and motivated and I only hope he stays healthy and strong (touch wood).

In the meantime, our business is in its busiest time and my Other Half is up and gone at dawn or on the road. He is stressed because business is booming and he is moving to a new facility which is all good but as he says, "It would be a lot easier to do without customers and employees to deal with."

Oh and we have our house on the market, have bought a lot to build on and are in the beginning stages of designing a new house. So while all of this is going on I have to keep this house in show-ready condition all the time and consequently I spend most of my time flushing toilets, picking up wet towels, cutting the lawn and cleaning the pool. Normal stuff made all the more stressful by the thought of someone coming by during the day when I have left the house without checking the above mentioned things.

Right, have I missed anything? Oh yes, my Dad announced on Mother's Day that he was getting married. To a woman he has been seeing for less than two months. 

How are things with you?

Little people, little problems. Bigger people, bigger problems.

I've heard this a lot lately and I've even repeated it myself to parents of younger kids. But no matter what the age and stage when you're in the middle of it, it all seems overwhelming so I was so glad to read a post by Kay at the MOAT blog. There are many blogs devoted to new parents and young children but they seem to peter out by the time their kids are into adolescence. I guess partly because so many of us are back at work full time or are just consumed by the endless chauffeuring, grocery shopping, meal planning and cooking for a herd of hungry tween and teenagers. And, as we all know, it doesn't get easier, just more complicated. No longer are play dates planned around the parents we want to hang out with, now we either spend time hanging around arenas, soccer pitches or gyms waiting. Picking up and dropping off at the movie theatre or a friend's where they are hanging out. I now know not to have my first glass of wine before all are home and accounted for. A couple of times I was caught about to settle in in front of the fire with my favourite Cab Sauv and a book when I remembered I was single parenting and there was one or more kids who still had to be picked up.

Kay's photo of the swings in the front yard of a house reminding her of the hours spent pushing one or another child took me back to simpler times. Our swing set/jungle gym which we got when our oldest was two is now primarily used by the boys as a launching pad for any number of STBT (Stupid Teenage Boy Tricks). She was at a panel discussion by Grade 8 parents and one of the things someone said was that their kids can't play with others until they can treat one another with respect. That's a tough one around our house right now. My boys are horrible to each other, the taunts, teasing and put downs are endless and they always hit the other where it hurst the most. They know one another's weak spots and go for it. So I came up with a new consequence - for every put down or negative comment they have to clean a toilet. Now since they are the ones who are responsible for the horrendous state of the toilets in the first place I feel this is a win-win situation and, although I can't imagine a time in the future when there is neither a dirty toilet to be cleaned or a negative comment free day, a MOB can dream.

As for the bigger problems that come with bigger kids we are just entering into that territory. School is the biggest issue and one that is going to unfortunately cost us money to deal with. Number One Son is most likely going to a private ski school next year and, as we have decided to move, the other two will be changing their schools as well. Number 2 has just realized that despite all the bullying issues he has dealt with over the past few years, it is still a little scary to think about changing schools for grade 8. I know it will be tough but hopefully in the end it will get us all where we want to be. They boys closer to the ski hill, their friends and busy on and off the snow. We all know that the key to keeping kids out of trouble is keeping them busy and while I haven't had to deal with our eldest partying I have heard from other parents that it has begun. Numbers 2 & 3 will probably more than make up for their introverted eldest brother who didn't even want to go to his own coed bowling birthday party which we hosted with three other families.

I really do believe and know that we are not doing our kids any favours by giving them everything and doing it all for them whether it's at school or at home and, as I have said a million times, I do not want to be the mother-in-law who my future daughters-in-law hate. Therefore, along with cleaning toilets, my boys will be doing laundry, vacuuming and generally helping to keep the house clean for any up-coming open houses or showings *shudder* because, here we go again. It's been six years in this house and right on schedule, we're moving.  No. 2 will not be getting the outrageously expensive camera he wants for his birthday but instead we will give him a bit of money and I have helped him to line up a mother's helper job for the summer so that he can earn and save money to buy the camera if he still wants it. No. 1 will be doing summer school to get a head start on grade 10 and No. 3 well, I'm still working on what to do with him but I do know that they will all be put to work clearing the lot once we get it in anticipation of building the house. Boys and chainsaws, what could possibly go wrong?

Lots to Catch Up On

Never a dull moment around here. Just got back from my first Girl's Getaway since, well, since I can't remember when and although I had a rather rude re-entry going from the beaches of the Bahamas to the ice rinks of southwest Ontario for a hockey tournament in less than 12 hours I have lots to look forward to in the coming months and lots to organize.

The beach at the Bahamas Beach Club in Abaco ... sigh

The home of our favourite drink in Green Turtle Cay

A plot with a view - Green Turtle Cay

A Sands in a sandal on the sand on Guana Cay

But back to reality, No. 1 Son played his last hockey game (except for his school team) and will now hang up his goalie pads and dedicate himself to ski racing. He wants to go to the National Ski Academy which fortunately is nearby and would help him balance his ski and school schedules. He was in class eight days from the beginning of this semester til March Break and doesn't appeared to have missed anything which has us worrying what the heck they are doing at the local high school. He's a good student but not that good. So the other option is for him to go to NSA, take a couple of summer courses, go to Europe to train for six weeks in the fall, back to school for a month then work on a course or two over the winter and finish up in the spring. We want to let him have a chance to follow his dream but not at the expense of school. My Other Half went through that when he was racing in high school and missed a lot and ultimately did not have the credits he needed for university. It all worked out for him in the end but the most important thing he learned from his experiences was that you want to have options when the skiing is over. 

Like father like son

The other big change that might be coming is that we are thinking of moving. Our lives seem to be focusing on the boys skiing and their friends at our club and over the course of the winter I spent far too much time driving the 20 minutes back and forth from the hill. We are hoping to buy a two acre lot in a development where the kids have lots of friends and build a house. We'll be sad to leave our friends here but it's not that far to come back and visit and if the boys are happier then I will be. 

And besides, my Pinterest Boards are already full of house ideas.

Saying Goodbye

My Surprise Christmas Present 2009

I spent most of last week up at the barn taking care of Jazz. We were riding Monday afternoon and I almost didn't go as I had dentist appointment which ran late due to the fact that they couldn't get my mouth frozen enough for me not to jump out of the chair every time the dentist tried to clean out an old filling. But after escaping the office I decided to go and luckily my friends Margot and Heather waited.

I remember thinking during the ride that Jazz was a little lethargic but I put it down to the heavy snow. He wasn't raring to go when we turned to gallop up the orchard rows but it was hard going. It wasn't a long ride and he didn't even work up much of a sweat so I quickly rubbed him down, put on his blanket and turned him out. Sometime that night he got colicky and Heather called the vet out. He had a large obstruction in his intestines and was given a painkiller in hopes he wouldn't roll and twist his gut. On Tuesday I went up to walk him, he had had a dose of mineral oil and the idea was to get him moving in hopes the obstruction would move as well. We walked up and down the road in the wind and snow. I talked, he listened and I told him he had to make an effort. It felt like when the boys were babies and everything depended on the next bowel movement - when, how big it was, the consistency? All the things mothers obsess over.

California Boy in the Snow

We walked morning and afternoon with a neighbour kindly doing the midday shift. He didn't seem to be in a lot of pain but that was probably the medication masking it. No BM Tuesday or Wednesday and he wasn't eating anything. Another visit from the vet on Wednesday and more mineral oil. A suggestion was made to take him down to the equine clinic at the University of Guelph for an ultra sound but at age 25 it wasn't as if we were going to put him through the trauma (not to mention the cost) of surgery if they were to find anything. So we kept walking and talking.

Thursday he passed an oily BM which was a sign that things were beginning to move internally and we were optimistic but Friday morning he spiked a fever which went steadily up all day, he was obviously in pain despite the meds and I spent my time in the stall kneeling in the stall with his head hanging down in my lap. He barely noticed when I moved or one of the dogs went by. I talked to him and told him spring was coming and soon we'd be riding in the orchards filled with apple blossoms and galloping through the fields.

At the Beach

Jazz was a California boy who had never seen snow until he retired to Canada which I know is backwards and being a Trotter he always had a bit of trouble forgetting his training and getting into a canter or gallop but if there was light, fluffy powder he do it without any prodding from me.

Saturday the fever had broken and he seemed in better spirits, we walked again and I kept talking about spring and telling him the sooner he got better the sooner he could get back outside with his friends.

Strangely, each time I left him last week I felt like I might be saying goodbye for the last time but on Saturday I was hopeful, his eyes seemed brighter and he was more alert so I wasn't worried when I couldn't go up on Sunday as the boys the Club Championship races all day and when I spoke to Heather Sunday evening she said he had eaten a little so she had let him outside for an hour and was cautiously optimistic as well.

On a Horse with a View

Monday morning was mayhem as we rushed to get Number One out the door to the bus to go to the Provincials and the other two off to school. The call came right in the middle of it all. Heather, who is one of the most down to earth, no nonsense people I know was in tears on the phone and when she told me that Jazz has died sometime in the night it was all I could do to thank her for everything and then hang up. Cam & Griff tried to comfort me but I just had to get them off to school so I could go up to the barn to say goodbye.

I won't get into all the terrible details of what it means when a 1200lb horse dies in an old barn in the middle of winter but that is the sort of stuff you have to deal with on top of all the emotion. Heather was incredible and Margot's husband, Charlie took charge and, with a neighbour, figured out the logistics. I am sad that Jazz can't be buried at the farm when he spent the last 11 years but he will always be there in spirit. After I said goodbye to him I went out into the paddock to be with the other horses, especially Molly & Casper, Margot & Heather's horses, with whom we always rode.

Casper & Jazz

We always joked that riding together was our therapy, better than shopping and easier on the liver than drinking. I spent Monday afternoon putting together an album of photos from the last three years of riding together. Jazz and I were very lucky to find each other at this stage in our lives. Riding gave me a sense of peace and as I once said to Margot, "it feeds my soul." I've never had anything else like that in my life, I don't run or paint or do much of anything else but riding and being with Jazz gave me something that I didn't get from anyone else.

I don't know if I will find another horse to share that with again. I'm not even sure if I want to, at least not right now.

Jazz King 1988 - 2013

Dispatches from a Parallel Universe

Number Three Son rips it up on a slalom course last weekend.

So far, since Christmas, my boys have spent more time on the snow than

 at school thanks to crazy race schedules and snow days which only ever fall on days they are actually supposed to be at school. And, as we are testing our not-terribly-well-researched parenting theory which states that participating in sports can be as important for raising well-adjusted, responsible and healthy children as attending school regularly, so far so good. Number One Son survived the week from hell writing four exams which were screwed up by two of the afore mentioned snow days, hockey play offs and four days of CanAm ski races. He passed his exams and his report card was okay but could have been better. He is still getting away with minimal effort and we are looking into other options for Grade 10 that will help him balance school and racing.

Today is another snow day which means since Monday was a holiday and sons Numbers One & Two will only see their teachers for one day. Enough time to pick up homework and hand in what they were supposed to do last week. Thankfully their teachers have so far been supportive. Even the four that No. 1 has only seen twice since the semester started. It's hard to know if this is the right thing for them. They are so focused on racing and do work (sort of) to keep up at school since if they don't there's no skiing. And No. 3 has been so good about going to school when his brothers are on the hill that I have been tempted to reward him with missing more school. How crazy is that? I think the scary thing is that they are still doing well despite not being in class which makes me wonder what the heck  is going on for the six hours they are supposed to be there?

As far results go, No.1 is still plugging away and is his own worst enemy as far as playing a head game with himself. He is stellar in training but then over thinks every race. No. 2 is coming along, winning races against his own age group as is No. 3 which makes it hard for their older brother who spends more time working out, training and watching ski videos than anyone. I keep hoping it will all come together for him because he deserves it but who knows? Of course, so much of success in ski racing depends on not getting hurt (touch wood) and  persevering when everyone else gives up.

I have been reading an excellent blog by Erin Thys Morgan at www.racerex.com (sorry, can't seem to do liks on my iPad very easily) and especially her post about sportsmanship really hit home because, after all, the reason we are spending all this money, letting them miss all this school and freezing to death standing at the bottom of race courses is to give them life lessons to apply in work, relationships and everything else going forward. 

My toes are a tappin'