Life Lessons: letting them learn on their own

This week has already been a long one and it's only Wednesday. Everyone is looking forward to Spring Break next week although the weather doesn't look like it's going to give us much in the way of spring-like temperatures. My Other Half returned home after 15 long days on the road. He battled a snowstorm on the NY Thruway, a screw up at the border which resulted in having to wait two hours before he was allowed back into his own country with boats clearly labelled "Made in Canada." And he returned to the crushing news that Number One Son did not make it to the Provincial Ski Racing competition. This past season has not been B's year, he has battled anxiety and fear of crashing and despite his unbelievable ability to do well in training it did not translate into results and he didn't earn enough points to take him to the finals. Unfortunately most of the boys on his team will be going up north over the break to race. To add to it all Numbers Two and Three won three medals each in the Club Championships on Sunday and balancing their excitement with being sensitive to Number One's disappointment in his own performance was difficult to say the least. We've been through this before and it never gets any easier.

It is so hard to not try and make everything all better for your children. I am not, or at least I try not, to be one of those parents who fixes everything. I knew there was a good chance he wouldn't make it and I could have badgered the coaches to try and get another spot for him and they might have been able to but I don't believe that everyone should get a prize whether they have earned it or not. One of my issues with ski racing is that it has, at this level anyways, become a "pay to play" sport. As long as the parents are willing to pay for their kids to compete the coaches will take them. There are no try outs or cuts. Everyone makes the team. That is until the end when it really comes down to how you did in the races over the course of the season and unfortunately our son didn't do well enough to make it. It is a bitter lesson but a good one, one that we all have to learn at some point in our lives. He is an incredible athlete and his hockey team is still in the playoffs thanks, in large part, to B's incredible goal tending skills. It will be a tough weekend as he is back on the hill with the boys who are leaving next Tuesday for the Provincials but I am already so proud of him and how he is handling it. I just hope his friends are sensitive without being patronizing at their team party on Saturday as everyone knows who made it and who didn't. We won't make excuses for him and I know he has learned the first in a life-long series of lessons, one that I wouldn't try to shield him from no matter how much I feel his pain.

I've fallen in love all over again

The Old Married Couple

My IRL friend Kelly is battling cancer and has a great blog called Kicking Cancer Ass in which she chronicles the ups and downs of her treatment, wigs and even a kitchen renovation. Her last post included these words and really puts things in perspective for me as I get overwhelmed by kids, work and stuff.

This new cancer club that I have joined reluctantly has had its pros and cons;

You know the cons, I'll try and focus on some of the pros.... Once you are in, it is very difficult to get out.

The members are really supportive. "Seize the Day" and "Live for the moment" take on a whole new meaning.
You look at your friends and family in a whole new light; They are truly amazing.

And finally, I've fallen in love with my husband all over again - I'm not sure how I could have got through this without him...he's awesome

My Other Half and I have been together since I was 16, give or take a few interludes during the university years and after all that time I try very hard not to take this wonderful man I was smart enough to marry for granted. But even after all these years he can still surprise me. He has been on the road for the last two weeks so last Monday I flew down to Boston to spend three days helping him out at the Boat Show. If anyone has worked a trade show you know how unbelievably boring it is to stand around a booth for 8 to 10 hours a day trying to make eye contact with passers by so that you will have someone to talk to thus making the time go by faster. But when you do reel in a potential customer they might turn out to be one of those "Looky Loos" who have no intention whatsoever of buying a boat, they just want to tell you all about the one they are building in their garage and which cost them half of your custom-made, professionally-built boats.

But back to surprises. Now despite the fact that my Other Half is not exactly technologically savvy he has embrace the art of texting and it is kind of fun getting late night and early morning "thinking of you texts." And while they weren't technically "sexts" they did have me wondering what he was up to. Well, Monday I went straight from the airport to the show and endured six hours of boredom while trying to steal a quick hug and kiss despite his aversion to any form of PDA. After the show closed at 8 o'clock we had dinner downtown at Scollary Square before heading back to his bachelor pad in a suburban all suites hotel. There, he had stocked the fridge with Prosecco, my favourite triple cream cheese and homemade chocolate dipped strawberries! Yes, he had bought Hershey's kisses, melted them and dipped the strawberries himself. Unfortunately after the delicious lobster mashed potatoes and steak at the restaurant I couldn't eat another bite but we were able to continue on with the rest of his romantic plans. He had asked me to bring our travel Scrabble game and we ended up laughing ourselves silly trying to make up erotic words. Probably not what the writers of whatever blog or website where he found the idea intended but for an "old married couple" it was a wonderful evening on all counts.

The next day we hit the Convention Centre floor again and decided instead of going out to dinner that night we would take home some sushi and dip into the Prosecco and strawberries. We watched a couple of Sex in the City reruns (he likes chick flicks too) and then enjoyed the privacy of a hotel room with no chance of being interrupted by either a dog or child. Bliss.

Young, Footloose and Fancy Free Couple

Now it's back to reality with children, homework, hockey games and ski races. But only two more sleeps until he's back so I might have to do a little exploration myself of websites for Old Married Couples, although I'll try to avoid the ones that suggest greeting your spouse at the door encased in plastic wrap.