"Our life is frittered away by detail...simplify, simplify." - Henry David Thoreau

I know I said "blog like no one is reading" but it's nice to know these people are

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

My Very Own Chamber of Sober Second Thought

Kyran over at Notes to Self is writing "Blogging 101" for all us neophytes. She is sort of my blogging hero as she has been able to parlay her blog into paying gigs in actual published form. Check out her article in Good Housekeeping called "Mommy Wears Prada" and you'll see why. Anyone who can combine writing, mothering and designer duds is a goddess in my books. Her suggestions on how to keep your life off and on-line from intersecting in an uncomfortable way are something we should all consider when posting.

I know I have wrestled with this. How much information is too much? I know for some bloggers they are perfectly happy putting themselves and their families out there for all to see and I love reading them. Me, I am a little more reserved and no, it's not because I am Canadian. You've read The Redneck Mommy haven't you? And I have my sister-in-law to thank both for encouraging me to blog in the first place and for being my very own Senate. For those non-Canadians, our Senate is called "The Chamber of Sober Second Thought" and it is supposed to take what ever the House of Commons sends them in the form of legislation and give it another look. That's what Beth does for me and it works. I think she is the only member of my family who reads my blog and that's the way I like it. I do self-censor but sometimes I get so caught up in my desire to be witty and relevant (and get lots of comments) that I step over the line. As I did a few weeks back when I posted something about a family member that went too far. Don't bother to look for it, it's long gone, thanks to Beth.

I guess the best way to read your posts is by thinking what would so-and-so say if by some weird alignment of the cosmos he or she happened upon your blog on the very day you decided to post about his or her total lack of parenting skills or how much they drank at Easter Brunch or whatever. There is always a chance, however remote that the one person you have posted about will stumble upon your blog on that particular day.

I love blogging but I never want my words to hurt anyone. We know what we are talking about but to an outsider it may not come across quite the same way. And besides, if someday I ever hope to get a writing job that pays I had better be careful what any prospective employer might find here. Kind of like what we warn teenager about when uploading all those photos from last weekend's party on to their facebook page. Be careful what you put out there in cyberspace 'cause you can't take it back.


  1. I definitely wrestled with this when I first started blogging. Is what I write too personal? Would I want a prospective employer to be able to read this? What would friends and family say if they read it? I hope I've come to a good balance. I try not to write anything I wouldn't be willing to say in person, even about those I occasionally complain about. But I wonder, too, if I've crossed the line here and there...

  2. This is a great post. I sometimes think I'm not meant to be a writer, because I'm just not willing to hurt people's feelings or go too far in invading their privacy. I'll write innocuous little stories about my sons, but I wouldn't write about a real problem if they were to have one. It's a fine line.

  3. It’s a very line and (sometimes) a difficult one not to cross. Particularly if your blog is not an anonymous one. I do a lot of that Sober Second Thought thing – but then, I am a Canadian.

  4. I meant a "very fine line!"

  5. I am so glad that I am not alone in not being able to put it all out there. Blogging is a funny thing, you can be somewhat anonymous but the more you do it the less so you become and the more likely your words can come back to bite you.

  6. It is a fine line. I do not post anything about a particular child that I teach. Or, give out real names.

  7. This is well said.

    A couple of months ago, my blog was "outed" to people I actually knew. As I struggled with wondering what people would think and realizing that no one probably cared enough to read...I decided to go ahead and remove anything that would have been hurtful..on whatever level.

    And as I struggled with wondering if people would simply think less of me for some of my antics and short comings, a particular thought entered my head: God knows everything we do, everything we think and everything we feel. Putting it into writing on a blog doesn't change that.

    And as much as I would like to say that I live my life in a way that God could pull up my blog, and read it and laugh and smile....I am not sure that is true at times.

    But, hey, I am trying, and that is what counts, right?

  8. I totally agree with you.

    I don't want to ever hurt any of my loved ones - so I don't blog about fights with the hubby or how much my MIL annoys me or anything along those lines.

    And in reality, I don't think the hurtful things are as intersting as the rest of it anyway.

  9. The balance is tricky to master but you seem to be doing well with it. In the end it is all about what works for you.


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