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Monday, March 30, 2009

Sex, Drugs and Grade 5



The other night my 11 year old and I were lying in bed reading - my idea of heaven is a place where all young boys would choose to read beside their mother instead of playing on their DS. Any how, we were lying there when he started to try and tell me something and the conversation went something like this.

Number One Son: Mum, ummm, if I tell you something, promise you won't get mad?

Me: Of course I won't. (At least, I hope I won't have to) Just tell me the truth.

Number One Son: Well, it's, like, ummmm ...

Me: Yes?

NOS: Ummm, well some of the kids at school, ummmm ...

Me: (Oh no, this could be serious) Yes, it's okay, you can tell me anything. (Gulp)

NOS: The kids at school were, like talking about something that, I, ummm, didn't know about. Don't get mad, but I lied.

Me: (Calmly) So the kids were talking about something and you lied and said you knew what they were talking about?

NOS: Yeah.

Me: What was it? (Help, help, help)

NOS: It was, ummm, it was, it was ...

Me: (Okay, I can't take much more, might as well jump right in) Was it ... drugs?

NOS: Noooo!

Me: (Deep breath) Was it ... sex?

NOS: Nooooooo!

Me: (OMG, is there something new that I don't even know about yet?) Well then, what were they talking about that you lied and said you knew about?

NOS: (Pregnant pause) Dirt bikes.

Me: Dirt bikes? (Is this some sort of code for illegal Grade 5 goings-on?)

NOS: Yeah, all the kids in my class have one and I said I knew how to ride one and I don't and I am the only kid in my class who doesn't!

Me: Right, I think this is something you need to talk to your father about, dirt bikes are not in my area of expertise.

15 comments:

  1. Sure, you can laugh. I had to keep a straight face.

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  2. You dodged a bullet!
    But it (they) are on their way…

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  3. Oh! You must have been so relieved. That was hilarious.

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  4. You lucked out! I know you were probably doing major happy dances in your head!

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  5. I love it! Books, bed and dirt bikes!

    And, in terms of the book review club, we'd love to have you! Email me and I'll send details. barrieDOTsummyATgmailDOTcom Sound good?

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  6. Bet you he wasn't the only one that lied either.

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  7. Whew, that was a close one :). I agree with katiecrackernuts, how could ALL of the kids have dirtbikes? Just sayin'.
    My husband would JUMP at that chance though...

    Oh, and I tagged you for a meme about motherhood, if/when you get a chance.

    ReplyDelete

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