"Our life is frittered away by detail...simplify, simplify." - Henry David Thoreau

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Wednesday, June 24, 2009

We Need to Reboot

My children hate me and they hate each other right now. Apparently I'm a bitch, a "f**king bitch" to quote Number One Son. And I have been. We have all been very mean and said horrible things to one another. Father to son, son to parents, mother to son, brother to brother and mother to father. Why? We have been together, stuck in the school year rut and we have all been blowing up and yelling out of sheer frustration. You would be horrified at what has been going on in our house over the last month.

So I am shutting us down, hitting the power button, holding it for five seconds and then leaving it off for a few weeks while the boys are at camp and then we will restart. We all need a break, a time out from one another. The boys from each other, from their mother and father, from their everyday lives. They need to go off and be individuals - not sons, big or little brothers, students with home work and schedules, meals to eat and chores to do.

My Other Half and I need to be a couple again not just parents. I want to sit out on the deck and have a glass of wine in the evening, talk about grown up things and go for a skinny dip in the dark and sleep naked when it gets really hot. I want to wake up in the morning to the birds singing not fighting from the basement over which channel to watch. I want to try out new recipes for dinner, eat late and go out for drinks on a patio. I want to wear dresses and get a pedicure and and ride my horse.

I want the boys to swim and sail and eat lots of food that I didn't make and be silly and gross with their friends. I want to be surprised at how big they are when we go to pick them up, at how blond their hair is and how tanned and dirty and scraped their skin is. I want to hear about the huge snake they caught, the race they won and the tent that leaked. I want them to discover who they are outside our family which, like most families, at times can be suffocating. I want us all to take a deep breath and come back happy and together.


  1. I'm a big fan of the reboot. We don't get to do it often enough. I'm ready right now.

    Enjoy your time.

  2. I love your 'i want' paragraph. I felt more relaxed just reading it. I also love coming back into family life with a renewed perspective and joy. And perfect song!

  3. Rebooting is a great idea. Couple time also a great idea...enjoy it. And enjoy the reunion after camp, too.

  4. This was excellent. i know exactly what you are talking about.

  5. If only my family was as pleasant as yours! LOL! My family get togethers are unbelievably uncomfortable!

  6. Ah, a reboot, what a lovely idea :) Enjoy your couple time with hubby!

  7. OH, I wish mine would go to summer camp, I need a recharge

  8. I have to give you credit for openly admitting to this. I've been through the ringer with my parents, and have said some of the same things to my own mother that your son has said to you.

    My experience has been that fights such as the ones you describe don't come out of nowhere--there's usually a history that leads to them.

    In my family's case, it was years of domestic abuse that finally made my brother and I lash out at our parents.

    To this day I can blow up on my father for almost no reason at all.

    Whatever it is, get it resolved. Talk to a counselor, have a family discussion, but do something to confront the problem.

    Good luck.

  9. I like this "roboot" idea...some days I feel that if everyone is still alive and no blood has been shed, then it was a good day. And the only reason my boys don't call me "bitch"? The don't know the word in English...but they do have a few colorful ones in Japanese!
    My/Our reboot will start in 9 1/2 days...the minute we step on that first plane to go to the States. That day canNOT come fast enough!
    Hang in there....and "happy reboot"!!


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