Braja over at Lost and Found in India has an inspiring (of course) post about sleep and mornings. I am not a morning person, never have been, although I love the whole concept. I married a very early morning person and gave birth to two of three of them. Number Two Son is the only one like me, he craves sleep as much as he does candy. Me, I crave it as much as I do, well, more sleep.
I know that right now while things are challenging around our house with work and parenting, sleep is my refuge. Not that I am able to sleep in past 7am but even after a solid 8 hours I am still groggy and headachey in the morning. It should be easier now, it is light outside and summer has finally arrived. We sleep with all our windows open so I am woken by a symphony of birdsongs, as well as a few honks from the geese on the millpond.
But something is definately out of whack, I am dead tired by 4pm and all I can think about, other than a glass of wine, is crawling back into bed again. I think I need to start to meditate again. I learned to meditate about 12 years ago when my Mum and I took a Transcendental Meditation course. I followed the schedule religiously for about a year, meditating 20 minutes as soon as I woke up and 20 minutes in the afternoon after school. But then babies and life got in the way and I fell out of the routine. I would still do it every once in a while but mostly in response to some sort of crisis or problem. It wasn't a part of my every day life which is what it is supposed to be to really make a difference.
A friend of mine who has meditated her whole life learned to do it as a child after her parents started, they continued TM their whole lives, even her father who was a very sucessful businessman and university professor would close his office door every day at 4 o'clock so no one would bother him while he meditated. My Number Two son was introduced to a form of meditation by his grade two teacher who would have the whole class sit cross-legged in the classic pose with their arms on their knees and thumbs and fingers together. It seemed to work for her, the whole class would calm down and she believed they became more focused after even five minutes. It is used by schools and corporations to relieve stress and some believe it even increases productivity, instead of offering a nap time to employees they are allowed to close their doors and meditate for 20 minutes in the afternoon.
So I think I have answered my own question. There was a question in all of this rambling wasn't there? How do I get my life back in balance, back under control? First I have to take care of myself and to do that I am going to start with meditating in the mornings. I can wake up 20 minutes earlier to sit quietly, clear my mind and let myself prepare for the day. I have to because the way I do it now is not working. The rush to get up, make lunches, check agendas, make breakfast, referee the fights and get everyone out the door dressed somewhat appropriately is crazy every morning and there are still 5 more weeks until they go to camp.
And if I can find another twenty minutes before the kids fall over one another through the door yelling,
"Mum, Mum, I'm hungry."
"Can I go to Jack's house? Can Jack come over here?"
"Can we go swimming?"
"I'm hungry. What's there to eat?"
"I need to do a project on the Mayans for tomorrow."
"Can you sponsor me for the Jump-a-thon?"
"Can I go on the computer?"
"I'm hungry. There's nothing good in the fridge."
And so on and so on and so on ...
So if you need me around 2:40pm EDT today, I'll be in a comfy chair with my eyes closed, clearing my mind of the din of family life, of work details and deadlines. Just for 20 minutes and then I promise to figure out what's for dinner, why the Mayans are extinct, where the bank statement is and why your brother just hit you when you didn't do anything to him.